This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Vodka?
Forever.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize