Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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