I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
