I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
honey bunches of taint.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
