I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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