I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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