his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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