Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
