my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
