I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
