eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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