i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
