he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
