just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
