Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
