Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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