no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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