$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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