You work out of a Hotel?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Boobs are out for the taking
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
