so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
