I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The power of my boobs compel you
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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