is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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