Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
