i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
