She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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