her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
