come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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