Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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