i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
