I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
