Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
