you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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