Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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