Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
