There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
