whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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