Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
