i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
