I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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