I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize