I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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