Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
