When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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