I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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