There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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