Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
