Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
