Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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