I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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