Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
