Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
