dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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