i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
