Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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