Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
