hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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