you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
