Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I got chris browned last night
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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