You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
