Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
