i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
