You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
