Me too!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
