man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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