It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
