He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize